Livonia, NY: At age 74, Ray passed peacefully at his home on October 9, 2023. He was born on April 12, 1949 in Rochester, NY to the late Patrick and Anna Mae (Merkel) Tette. In addition to his parents, he was predeceased by his siblings; Margie Bernard, Laurie Merkel, Gerard Tette, and John Tette. Survived by his wife of 35 years, Joan (Tortora) Tette; daughters, Jessica Tette, Molly Tette, and Gina Tette; siblings, James (Sharan) Tette, Michael (Dorothy) Tette, Mary Ann Tette, Thomas (Virginia) Tette, and Therese (Richard Callari) Tette; sister-in-law Frances Tette; Ray is also survived by many nieces, nephews, cousins, and friends in the Livonia Community.
In all his life, Ray never met a man he didn’t like. Ray graduated from Jefferson High School in 1967 and then proudly served two years in the Navy. After returning home and working as a postman, he attended St. John Fisher College. He then went on to be the director of Camp Stella Maris for 20+ years, where he met many beloved people, including his wife, Joan. Ray dedicated 17 years to the Livonia volunteer ambulance. In his later years, there was nothing Ray loved more than his role as Master Carpenter for the Livonia Middle and High School Theater program. Ray enjoyed playing poker with his friends, camping with his family, and supporting the Bills. Anyone who knew Ray knew that he always had time to help a friend in need. In all he did, Ray served his community and showed his love for others. We are all better for knowing him.
Family and friends may call on Monday, October 16th, from 4pm – 7pm at the Kevin W. Dougherty Funeral Home Inc., 21 Big Tree Street, Rte 15 & 20A, Livonia, NY. Ray’s Funeral Mass will be held at 10:30am on Tuesday, October 17th, at St. Matthew Catholic Church, 6591 Richmond Mills Road, Rte 20A, Livonia, NY. Burial, with military honors, will follow at St. Michael’s Cemetery, Livonia. In lieu of flowers memorial contributions may be made to Livonia Central School Vocal Music (Supporting Livonia School Musicals), C/O Jennifer Leidlein, PO Box E, Livonia, NY 14487, Camp Stella Maris, 4395 East Lake Road, Livonia, NY 14487, or to St. Matthew Catholic Church, PO Box 77, Livonia, NY 14487. To send a condolence or share a memory please visit: www.doughertyfuneralhomes.com
You did not have to be in Ray’s presence very long to understand what a beautiful caring and loving man he was. My times with him were limited, but always graciously fulfilling
When I think of Ray Tette, I think of CSM. When I think of CSM, I think of Ray Tette! There is no thought that brings back such warm memories of my past than Ray. Ray was such a beautiful soul and his time here blessed us all with immeasurable joy. God bless you all and I know you will continue to pass Rays message of love forward. RIP Ray. Ann Boylan Higgins
Dear Tette Family ,
Our deepest condolences on the passing of your beloved dad.
May he rest in peace.
The Moncada Family
Joannie, the tributes for your husband will, hopefully, sustain you in tough times ahead.
Remembering when YOU were born—remembering your mom and dad with love.
With sympathy
Kathleen Laverne Karafonda
(From family court )
Dear Joan,
When I spoke to you this summer after Mass at St. Matthew’s and told you that I had been praying for Ray, you wondered how I knew him. My memories of Ray go back about 40 years when he was director of CSM. I never worked there but my father, Charles M. Bayer, Jr. was on the Board of the camp for many years. I can honestly say that I never heard my father speak of any young man (Ray was 40 years his junior) with such admiration and respect as he did Ray. My father knew that it would take a man like Ray to develop the camp as Ray did. And what a wonderful job he did!
Many have mentioned his great smile and wonderful laugh, but I will remember him for his “dreamy” blue eyes.
May he rest in peace. My deepest sympathy to you and your family. May the Lord’s peace comfort you in the days and years to come, knowing that Ray has attained his heavenly home. God bless,
Alice Bayer Middleton
So sorry for your loss. Our prayers are with all of you
I am so sorry to hear of Ray’s passing – he was such a great role model, and always cool, no matter what the crisis of the day was at CSM. A truly great man. I was lucky enough to see Ray a few years ago when he was dropping off his youngest daughter at CSM, and of course, he invited me and my daughter to lunch at Vincenzo’s, so I talked his ear off for a good hour. I treasure so many memories of Ray at CSM and that last divine intervention.
So many happy memories of Ray, family picnic card games, and his never-ending smile that could melt the coldest heart. Thinking of my “red family” cousins and keeping you all in my thoughts. May Ray’s memory be a blessing to you all.
I only met Ray a few times yet his smile and warm heart was always apparent. Sending love and blessings to you Joan and your daughters and so sorry for your loss.
Betty Reinhart
Sorry to hear of special Ray’s passing. I had the honor of working with him at several of the musicals in the Livonia High School..
He will be missed by me and many others when its play time. I know how much he loved his family and how dedicated he was to his craft.
Hi Joan, Laura passed on this news to me today. I am so very sorry for your loss. I did not know Ray but he must have been particularly fantastic to find an amazing person like you!!! All of these comments— he must have lived a very rich and fulfilling life with you by his side! He is beloved.
My deepest sympathies,
Kathy Joynt Pieper
Joan and Family:
Our lives are better for knowing Ray, our lives are lesser now for the loss of Ray. But we will fill that void with memories and the knowledge that friendships never pass.
All our warmest thoughts are with you all.
Love,
Rick and Mary Lou Milne
Thoughts and prayers from the Maloney family. Your family wrote a lovely obituary in Ray’s honor. 🙂
Uncle Ray took me on my first date. He was an amazing man and inspiration. I’m sure he’s running a camp and building sets in heaven. He will be missed. Sending hugs to all the girls. Much love
Ray always had a kind word delivered with a genuine smile for everyone he encountered. It’s no wonder he was loved by so many. We will miss you, Ray. Thank you for your kindness. Love, Eddie, Renee, and Lizzie Dustman
The Veterans Outreach Center extends our deepest sympathy in Raymond’s passing.
We acknowledge and are truly grateful for his service to our country.
Joan, my deepest sympathy on the loss of your dear husband. I only served St. Matthew’s in Livonia for a couple of years, but knowing Ray was one of my treasures. Prayers for your healing, strength, courage and deep peace. Ray touched so many people in so many beautiful ways.
Ray was a very good person and childhood friend. We lived on the same street and grew up together. R.I.P. old friend.
Although I have not had contact with any of the Tette kids, I am so sorry to hear of Rays passing. Ray taught me how to tackle when we were kids, he was just two years older than me, looked up to him as I did all the Tette boys.Sounds like he became the man I figured he would.
Prayers out to the whole clan
Joannie, so sorry to hear of Ray’s death. I believe Nancy Kelly and I were Ray’s first head counselors. So many great memories. Classmates at Becket Hall and Fisher. He will be missed but fondly remembered by me and so many others. You and your family are in my prayers. May the Lord bless you with strength. My love, Jim
Ray grew up on the same street I did, Dakota Street, and we both were the same age and attended Holy Family together. My memories of Ray are that of a wonderful young man with a positive attitude, who was a great conversationalist. Ray demonstrated an interest in everyone, even at a young age. I haven’t crossed paths with Ray in decades, but he obviously left a lasting impression. I can see by all the tributes that he was a well-loved and respected person. My deepest condolences to the family. May he rest in peace.
Jennifer Valenzo Cleeton.
Very sorry to hear about Ray’s passing. So many memories through the Holy Family years with all of you. My sympathy to your whole family.
Uncle Ray was such an inspiration to me. He was always smiling and so happy and always had the best stories to share. I always loved going camping with him, Joannie, Jessie, Molly and Gina. Uncle way as a huge part in what made camping so special. I will forever miss you Uncle Ray. Love you
To my friend Mary Ann and the entire Tette family –
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you during this sad time. May all the good memories you have had with Ray help you during these coming days.
Ray’s death hit me hard. It has been many years since I went to, and then worked at, CSM. But Ray was a mentor to me and so many others and a big part of the reason that I spent as much time at CSM as I could. Like some who have written here, I viewed Ray as a mentor, but more than that, he helped me see that if you could bring joy, enthusiasm and love to a venture, you could build community and get amazing things done, including by doing a lot with very little. Ray’s example, and my time at CSM as a camper and counselor, turned out to be a through-line in a life that led me far away, but to a career in non-profits where I continued to serve youth and their families. And in the meantime, I brought my own kids (and several of their friends) every year to CSM, traveling over 700 miles to do so. My kids–now adults–still tell me that CSM remains their most impactful experience of spiritual community. I believe that is all because of Ray and the many leaders he cultivated. RIP Ray–please know your legacy is alive, vibrant and well, and there are many of us who know that you created something that was unique and that we have all tried to replicate in our own unique ways. Thank you. Sending love to Joan and the girls as you navigate this. xoxo Michele Cortese
Worked for him for 2 summers at CSM, the greatest place on Earth, in part due to Ray.
I remember his Jeep, his aviator sunglasses, and his smile.
He made a lasting impact on camp, and everyone who passed through there.
Condolences to Joan and the rest of his family.
RIP Ray-Ray
During my grammar school years at Holy Family and as a young adult, the Tette Family, led by matriarch, Anna Mae, were regularly in my life. Ray was a year ahead of me and we shared many times together. My condolences to his family and friends.
Ray was one of a kind, always enjoyed being with him, unfortunately it wasn’t often in recent years. Camp Stella Maris is what it is today because of his vision and persistence that his vision would become a reality. Thanks Ray for your love for God and life.
Peace and courage
Mike Bausch
Ray was a respected neighbor, loving husband and father and someone who will be greatly missed. My sincere sympathy to Joan, Jess, Molly and Gina. It was obvious that he loved you deeply.
Well I have come full circle and I can still see that smile. May the memories you each have surround you with love during this difficult time. Jessica keep his smile going!
Lots of men are called “the nicest guy in the world,” but they all sit behind Ray, truly deserving of the compliment. My sympathies to his wonderful family.
Sweet Ray,
Can we still text about the Bills game and the final score? Can I call you when I have questions about the house insulation? Can we still have our own clambake every year? Can I pick you up at the dealership when you take your truck in? Can I still call you my hero and tell you that the check is in the mail…. and hear you laugh? My heart is in a million pieces. I love you Ray, past the last number. I will miss you forever.
Signed your sister; you know, the one you always called on FaceTime….Mary Ann
Such a great man and father. Love you Joan, Jessie, Molly, and Gina…
Joan and Girls, I’m saddened to hear of Rays passing . Thinking of you all. Prayers
Sending love to Joan and girls My heart hurts for you all. Cousin Ray was a great man
I only knew Ray for a couple of years, but we became fast friends, sharing family and life. My life has been enhanced, brightened, and, in fact blessed by knowing Ray. He always had a kind word of encouragement, a thoughtful insight, or being ready to pitch in and help. I miss you, Ray, and know you are smiling, as you look down on us from heaven.
What a beautiful life of service to all he met, demonstrating his love for Christ. I will never forget the fond memories he provided for me and countless others through his directorship at Camp Stella Maris. May God be with his family and friends during this time of loss.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Ray was a wonderful person. Joan, Jessica, Molly, and Gina you are in my prayers.
We Are all better for knowing him. Ray was a treasure, and has left the most beautiful legacy, his daughters.The love he had for Joan and the girls showed in everything he did. I will miss you my cousin.
Godspeed,
Mo
So sorry
We were so hopeful he had gotten ahead of this disease. He was always kind gentle and hopeful. The world has suffered a great loss
Lovingly
Fred and Lauren Burruto
If there ever was a man that I always wanted to be like, it is Ray. He will be missed by so many and I am so thankful for the memories he gave me over the 47 years that I knew him. Rest in peace my very loved and precious friend.
Ray was a wonderful and faithful man. His years at Stella Maris will never be forgotten, especially by the many young counselors who worked with him. He was very respectful and respected by many! May he rest in piece for all he did for so many, especially the campers at Stella Maris.
They don’t come any better than Ray Tette! He truly made everyone feel important and loved. Deepest condolences to the Tette family.
So sorry What a great guy. My condolences to the family.
Many found memories of this great man at camp Stella Maris. Thank you for everything Ray!
Ray. The Man, The Legend! You were not only an incredible mentor and friend but such loving husband to my best friend! I will never forget you and the many many memories we have shared throughout the years. Love all of you!
Miss you Ray what a warm n wonderful man you were also a great cook n camper love ya
Blessed to have had this good man in our lives .
Dianne and mark krenzer
My deepest sympathy to the entire family.