Livonia, NY: At age 86, Anita passed peacefully at home on April 11, 2021 on her father’s birthday. She was born in Rochester, NY to the late Michael and Lena (Provenzano) DiBella. In addition to her parents she was predeceased by her daughter Michelle Stefano. Survived by her husband of 64 years, James V. Stefano Sr. and children; Jim (Virginia) Stefano, Jr. of Livonia, John Stefano of FL, and Gary (Concordia) Stefano of NJ; grandchildren, Leanne (Eric) Bohannon, Jeanne (Don) Brown, Cheyenne Michelle Stefano, Dakota Stefano, Cole Stefano, Nicolena Stefano and James Stefano; great-grandchildren, Gianna, Maria, Clara, Mark, Donald Jr., and James; sister Barbara (Patrick) Fornataro and many loving nieces, nephews, in-laws, caring cousins, godchild Kelvin Dowd and her friend Grace Dowd who pre-deceased her.
Anita was born and raised on Sherman St. in Rochester and was closest to her sister Barbara, cousin Diane and her Uncle John and Aunt Cutchie Provenzano. She attended Nazareth Academy, where many of her classmates became lifelong friends, and graduated from Rochester Business School. Anita met Jim on a blind date, were married in 1956, and built their home and raised their children in Henrietta. She became a medical secretary for the Rochester Ophthalmological Group for many decades, making forever friends with Kim Walker, Chris Jones and Mary Hopp (deceased), and Mary’s sister’s Ann Barbato and Evelyn Thompson (both since deceased).
Anita and Jim moved to Livonia in the 70’s making that their home, and had one of the first Bed and Breakfasts in the area in the late 1980s. They built a new home in 2006. Anita made their homes always open to their neighbors, many new friends they made over the years, and to her extended family, in-laws, nieces and nephews. Her grand daughter Jeanne moved across the street and was like a daughter to her and Jim, and she was closest to her niece Patti Fornataro.
Anita and Jim traveled to many destinations with one purpose in mind, to visit family and friends. Anita always had a camera in-hand to capture and keep those moments close to her. The phone calls never stopped at the house nor did the flow of great Italian food and her special Sicilian Pizza recipe handed down from her mother Lena. Anita helped her son Jim capture her “secret” minestrone recipe in her final days. Her neighbor Sheila Wolf later became her special caregiver in her home, which was her final resting place after a progressive battle with congestive heart failure. A special thanks to Dr.’s Andrew Wolfe and Ryan Nelson for their outstanding personal care over the years.
No prior calling hours will be held per Anita’s wishes. Her Funeral Mass will be held at 10am on Friday, April 16th, at St. Matthew Catholic Church, 6591 Richmond Mills Road, Rte. 20A, Livonia, NY and all are welcome to attend. For those not able, it will be live streamed on the St. Matthew Facebook page at http://facebook.com/stsmaryandmatthewfaithcommunity. Burial at Holy Sepulchre Cemetery, Rochester, NY on Saturday, April 17th, at 11am, all are welcome to meet at the Lake Avenue Gate at 10:45am. Memorial contributions may be made to St. Matthew Catholic Church, PO Box 77, Livonia, NY 14487 or to the School of the Holy Childhood, 100 Groton Parkway, Rochester, NY 14623. To send a condolence or share a memory please visit: www.doughertyfuneralhomes.com
I worked with Anita for many years at ROG. She was a delightful friend and I cherish her memory. She was a loving wife, mother and grandma. She always faced the difficult challenges in her life with dogged determination. Howard Schenker, M.D.
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Teresa Haung said, Anita was the most kind, caring person you could ever meet! She always welcomed you with open arms and just happened to have a fresh treat or something she could quickly pull from the freezer. My family loved to sit and chat with Jim and Anita and especially appreciate our times together when I came over dressed in my Christmas costume each year to deliver a plate of cookies. I will forever cherish the hand written recipe she shared for her pumpkin bread made in cans. It’s delicious and will be a forever favorite. Anita will be dearly missed. I’m honored that God placed her in my life and so proud for the friendship we had and know she will continue to watch over my family. She will never be forgotten!
From her neighbor Marilyn Pinto, One very snow winter morning we got a call from Jim telling us our horses were in their back yard. We went over to find Anita standing in the snowy field, arms outstretched keeping all 7 horses from going to the main road. What a sight watching petite Anita trying to keep those horses back, and she did! We had many laughs about that day and wish she had that camera of hers with her.
From Kathryn Majumdar, Your mom passed away on Divine Mercy Sunday, which is also very auspicious. We were praying for your mom during The Chaplet of Divine Mercy, which is meant to be prayed especially for departing souls, at the same time your mother passed away.
Pam Rice said, Yes, she has been a wonderful friend since we moved to Livonia 26 years ago. We shared so many wonderful memories together on Liturgy with St Joseph’s & St Matthew’s. She helped me pick out the outdoor Nativity for the church. She was the greatest example of a person who followed Christ & loved Christ as well as Jim
From Laberta Roberts, We went to Holy Apostles and Nazareth together and were good friends rill this day. She was one of my dearest friends. My heart goes out to you.
From her niece Christine, When my mom passed away, she offered that I could reach out to her if I ever wanted to know more about my mom. Eventually I did that. We bonded over our love of family and our losses.
From a text exchange with her niece Beth, You’re a precious soul and inspiration to us all. We can lean a lot from how you lived your life and cared for everyone around you. Through good times and bad, you persevere and always, always showed up. Letting someone down is not in your DNA. Always gracious, kind, loving and generous with a ready smile and warm hub.
Her niece Melinda said, Heaven gained another angel. And no one deserves it more than my Aunt Anita.
From her Landscaper, Chad Laduke, I moved down to Livonia in 1996 fresh out of college. I knew no one but my brother and his wife and a few of his friends. Mrs. Stefano called me to give her an estimate, I came back with an estimate of $60, she came back with, “I think that is high, can you do it for $45”?. She was a spit fire and I knew she was a straight shooter and I like that in a person. Every 2 weeks I would mow and stop and chat. As summer and our talks progressed, she found out I was lonely as my girlfriend was in California and again I did not know too many people. One day she said why don’t you change your schedule and make ours your last stop. After my work was done the 3 of us would talk about everything and she would invite me for dinner. They were both very therapeutic, they always had advice and great stories about their children, grandchildren, and life lessons. I’d talk about moving back to my hometown as I was just so lonely and they encouraged me to stick it out. I did stick it out and have to give them both thanks for their support.
Mrs. Stefano always invited me in for a cup of coffee. Mr. Stefano would ask about work but mostly listen to the 2 of us talk. A funny story is she would always offer me pie, I am not a pie eater but I never had the heart to tell no. I’d tell my mom that I stopped to talk to the Stefano’s and mom would say “did you have pie?” laughing. To this day it is still a joke that I’d only eat Mrs. Stefano’s pie, a staple conversation at the Thanksgiving table.
When my wife and I got engaged we went down to visit Mr. & Mrs. Stefano, they did not know yet as we sat on the front porch of old house in the rocking chairs. I went and reintroduced my girlfriend as my finance. Mrs. Stefano jump right up and gave her a hug, screaming I am so excited for you 2. She meant so much to me I wanted to tell her in person. Once the hugs and handshakes were over. She said “we are going to be invited right?” My hometown is Massena, NY. 4 hours straight north. I said if you guys are willing to drive you will be the first invite stamped and mailed. They made it and it was so special having them there, the next day they stopped at our cottage on the St. Lawrence river for brunch. They really became like a second set of parents to me.
These are just a few of the many many interactions that I had with her that made our relationship so special. The universe works in strange and mysterious ways and when I was at a struggling point in my life AN angel appeared and gave me a much-needed friend. I will miss her dearly.
Dear Jim and Family,
I worked with Anita at ROG, beginning in 1980, until she retired. We shared so many good times for so many years, she became family at work, like so many of us at ROG, did through the years. She was one of the kindest, sweetest women I ever had the pleasure of meeting. I just loved her. I was unable to attend her funeral in person due to illness, and was very upset about that. I am truly sorry for your loss Jim, and all of your family. I will never forget Anita. There are so many memories I will always cherish. She loved you all so much. Her spirit, will always be with you. May you all find joy and peace in your memories.
Love,
Rosemary DeLuca
Jim & family: my deepest sympathy upon Anita’s passing. I mostly knew her through church where she always had a smile & friendly word & was ready to lend a helping hand. Rest in peace, Anita!
Mary Anne Palermo
Jim and family,
We were very sad to hear the news of Anita’s passing. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Frank and Wendy West
Anita was a wonderful lady,always happy to see her,she went out of her way to make you feel special..Rest inpeace dear friend
Deepest condolences from the Clemens family – Ruth, Pat, Andy, Matt and Fred.
I have known Anita since Holy Apostles grammar school days. It was Loretta, Anita and Laberta for many years. When the Pandemic began I was telling her that I needed elastic for the masks I was making for the people I knew and the hospital. The next thing I knew she called and said she had purchased 200 yards for me from Amazon. I met her and Jim in the parking lot of the Cracker Barrel to get that from her. I was able to share with other friends who were making masks. She was a very special person and even though we didn’t see each other often, I will truly miss her.
DEAR JIM-OUR LOVE AND BEST WISHES ON ANITAS PASSING. SHE WAS A BEAUTIFUL LADY AND YOU WERE A GREAT COUPLE. SHE WILL BE MISSED ALLO OUR BEST, DARRYL GRONSKY AND NORMA FENNELL
Stefano Family,
We are so sorry for your loss.
Anita was such a wonderful person.
Always smiling. May you rest in peace and rise in glory.
Dear Jim and your family,
We have always admired both your and Anita’s calmness, kindness, and friendliness no matter what was happening in your lives. You showed the gift of caring for others so well. We are sure that Anita is doing the same up in heaven for all of you right now! It was an honor to have known her.
We will remember you all in our prayers.
Our deepest condolences to the family for their loss. We loved Anita very much and will miss her so much.
Dear Jim and family,
Our love and prayers are with you all at this sad time. We know Anita (mom , grandma ) was a woman of deep faith, trusting above all in God’s mercy and love always! Jim and she were such a warm welcome to David and I and our family when we first moved here. Our son always talked about the great food she made for him while he was doing yard work for them one summer! ( I can’t help but picture her cooking up some great Italian dishes now in heaven! ) Her love of her family and all things Italian always shown through. She was so proud of family and was a role model of unconditional love and gentle ways. We will be keeping you in Our thoughts and prayers that you will know she lives in your hearts and is never far away in prayer. God Bless.
Love,
Dave and Mary Jo Dussault